Done and Dusted

I am now officially a Certified Zentangle Teacher and I am so thrilled about it, I can barely contain myself.  As always, I owe this to the love of my life, the yang to my yin…

To be brutally honest, before I signed up for the seminar, I was not the least bit sure about what I was doing. As always, I had no plans or direction and being a CZT was more of a distant dream…a someday-I’ll-do-this kind of thing. I was full of doubt because that’s who I am. I am flawed in more ways than one and with every passing day, I am learning that so is everybody else.  The point is that I am impatient, fickle, indecisive, grossly under-confident, overly-emotional and …wait for it…hyper-critical of myself.  No, the irony is not lost on me.  And of course the doubt becomes overpowering when I have to shell out my husband’s hard-earned money and this, by no means, was a small amount.

Usually when I want something that costs money,  I procrastinate (a strength in this scenario) until I no longer feel the need for it.  That strategy has served me well in weeding out the wants from the needs with a 100% success rate.  That’s exactly what I did in this case too. I slept on it.  Long enough to give sleeping beauty a good run for her money. I slept on the idea and hoped against all odds that the temptation would pass. Instead I came to realize that my urge to attend this seminar wasn’t going anywhere.  It was, on the contrary, only getting stronger.  Before I knew it I was losing sleep over it.  I just couldn’t make up my mind.  So, I turned to the worldwide web seeking comfort but after all my research online, there wasn’t anything I could find on what to expect from the seminar. I did not want to spend the money on this vague, mystery thing that I wasn’t even sure of and had no future plans for.

But you see, my husband and I are very different people.  He is the glass-always-overflowing-and-if-you-see-it-any-other-way-it-must-be-an-awesome-and-exciting-optical-illusion kind of guy.  I, on the contrary, am more of a glass-already-half-empty-soon-to-be-bone-dry-so-let-me-freak-out-and-have-a-panic-attack-right-now kinda girl.  So staying true to my nature, I spent months (I kid you not) trying to decide if I should sign up for the seminar or not.   At long last my husband’s logical and rational arguments tamed my irrational, emotional and fear inducing self-doubt.  The eternally-overflowing-glass prevailed and I found myself in Providence, RI.  Goes without saying (but I am still going to say it) that I couldn’t be happier that I went.  It was worth every single penny and more.  It was enriching, fun, exciting, immensely informative and not to mention, exhausting.  I spent 3.5 days tangling until my fingers were stiff and my vision was blurred. I met some wonderful people and we shared some great stories. It was an amazing experience and I totally L.O.V.E.D. it!!